A Deeper one?

Today I am not well. I feel like I'm constantly waking up from the same horrific nightmare. You know sometimes when you're having a nightmare and the instant you wake up you feel your heart in your throat and not sure if what you've just witnessed/lived is real or just a dream. I feel that panic, that fear, that anxiety. I cannot make it go away nor can I make anybody understand.. I have nothing but my music, my tears and my soul. I'm fighting not only the world around me but myself and I feel like whatever the outcome one of me will end up losing - my mind or my heart...?

My mind plays these thoughts in my head like a scary movie. the same scene keeps repeating itself over and over again and it's stuck on repeat.

I'm lost, afraid and don't know where to go.

Yesterday seems like a life ago,
'cause the one I love today, I hardly know,
You I held so close in my heart, Oh dear,
Grow further from me with every fallen tear. ~ Ben Harper