Strength

Today I'm impervious to pain... I woke up made my famous.. well, not so famous mushroom spinach dip then cleaned up and stuff... Anyway, I went to my chiropractor and half way home my car decided to piss me off just a little more, I'm leaking prestone; antifreeze; so I brought it to the mechanic. Usually this would piss me off but, fuck it... it can't live for ever right? anyways it's just a car...

So I'm not a big reader but today I started to read "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown as I really really liked "The Da Vinci code". So far the book is great. I just started really enjoying books about a year ago, before that I think the last book I had read in it's entirety was a book from High school, it was something like "The Outsiders", remember that one.... Or it may have been "Go ask Alice".. hmmm.. Anyway... I find myself thinking of this book all day, like I'm a crazy cryptologist at work analyzing every symbol I see....

Ohh ya! About the walk last night... well.. I didn't go very far but it was refreshing, I love the weather... Today it was sunny but cool... Sort of like "fall weather"... I love the fall. I keep thinking of Julie.. Like at least 4 times a day..... Is that nuts!? I don't know maybe so maybe not... I'm trying to be my own person and enjoy solitude; which I do; but I'm trying not to become dependent on certain feelings as I don't want this to happen... I've become pretty strong-emotionally- and don't want to loose this strength. I do, however want to get to know her because I feel like I can bond with her, not like you bond with friends and family but on a really deep level... I just feel it when I look at her and she looks at me.. Like we're both searching for the same thing, it's like we're both kids and trying to figure out the secrets of life. Does this make sense... I don't think so eh?!... You'll have to excuse me as it's pretty late and my mind is wandering.

Well this weekend I don't think I'm going to be doing much as I have to pay for my car and I really just feel like doing "simple" things. I think I'll spend most of my weekend outdoors and maybe read most of my book.

Well kids... I'm off. I don't know if anybody reads this anymore but thanks to all that do...

Love Ricker.....