Come as you are...

So some more fucked up news... My roommate gave me his notice today, which is fucking great news since it's in the middle of the god damn winter... fuck!

Kind of pissed about work too because I had most of the weekend off and my boss tells me yesterday that that I have to work Sat morning and all fucking day on Sunday, but I guess the good news is that in 3 weeks we're going to have permanent shifts and a seniority based shift bid. Finally! So I'm going to the pick the "mid-shift" which is going to be from 12:30 - 8:30; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. I really like the 12:30 - 8:30 shift because I like to sleep in and 8:30 isn't that late to do whatever. I felt like walking out of work yesterday, I guess because I definitely don't feel appreciated, I mean I guess I do from my reps but management doesn't give a flying fuck about me. To them I'm just another sup, which I'm not. I guess the people that did see what I'm capable of are no longer around. I just feel like all the hard work I'm done and all the "proving myself" has been wasted as all the people that I've shown it too are gone, I just feel like I'm at square 1. Fuck that's fucking frustrating!! fuck.... So I tried to apply for student aid yesterday but apparently it's too early, they only accept applications in March.

I remember when I was a teen and would bike around town with my walkman and think of all the things going on in my head, that was my escape. I guess I'm telling you this because I'm currently listening to Nirvana - "Nevermind" and this is one of the many CD's or "cassettes" I would listen to when I would go on my little trek. I'm kind of feeling good right now, sort of how I felt back then... I doubt if this makes much sense to you, reader..

So, about moving out... Don't know what the fuck to do about that/move alone/move with someone.????? basically I can afford it alone but I would have little or no money left over for saving. Plus I don't want to live with someone that parties all the time or is irresponsible or is late with the bills and shit like that.... Somehow I feel like the right thing to do is to move somewhere alone. I think it's time I'm on my own. I'm in a phase where I'm not going out anymore and trying to save for the future and focusing different aspects of life instead of the good ol' drunkenness...

Someone told me once that my blog was "So real" I'd like to thank them because that's really what I was hoping to achieve through all this and to hear it kind of made me happy. Well I think I've written too much.

See ya peeps....