Fou comme un balai

I fee like I'm not giving enough time to my thoughts lately but when I'm alone I feel all confused and unable to draw any conclusions. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with everything lately but I still need to think. I had a good weekend. It was a very up and down weekend. Ohh.. happy Halloween by the way...

So I think my issue is that I'm not feeling as invisible as I did a couple of months ago, I'm feeling vulnerable, scared of what people might think, say or do... I feel like I need some chill time, maybe read some and go to the gym everyday for a while. Oh ya I think I forgot to mention that my gym decided to close last week, there was a sign on the door that said: "permanently closed" What the fuck! Anyway now I'm searching for a new place. Somehow I feel like my vulnerability comes from a lack of self confidence, actually I'm pretty sure of this. I don't know why I'm so self conscious lately. I don't have a reason to be... I'm not trying to impress anyone, I think that when you don't have anyone close to you it's easier to be confident because you don't really care what anyone thinks because you don't really care about them anyway but when you're really close to someone you like them so much that you want them to like you as much as you like them. I don't think it should be this way, I feel that you should love yourself enough that you don't need anybody else's love, that is what I beleive and that's where I think we should all be.