Solitude my sanctuary

Well I feel as though I have a lot to say today so bare with me. First let me say it was a crazy weekend with moving and all.

Friday - Friday I painted my new room and packed pretty much all day, Friday evening I went to Chip's and played poker. Friday didn't turn out as fun as I thought it would be as we didn't go see the fireworks because of the weather.

Sat morning - This was probably my favorite part of the weekend, I went for my jog then I went to the market on Main st then I went to the new Market in Dieppe, there's something about the Market on Sat mornings. I really like going alone, not that it bothers me to go with someone else it's just that I think that doing things alone sometimes can really be good for you... I don't know if that makes sense. I love the feeling I get when I'm alone; a little groggy from the night before, a little anxious because of all the ppl, like a kid in a candy store because of all the food and whatnot. I can't help it but smile and sort of mope around.. hehehe... yuummmm Sambosas..... mmmmmmmm....... I think that you should sometimes try to put yourself in a position where you don't feel 100% at ease, meaning not in your comfort zone.. it's good for the soul and you'll feel good about yourself and like your alive...

Sat afternoon - from this point on, things let's just say weren't as peachy. I borrowed Dennis's truck, man what a truck... anyway, I backed into a lawn, made a big ass whole in it;we'll get back to this, then I helped move my aunt then brought some shit to the appt then went to Shediac to drop off some crap. after that I went to help Pierre move and then we had to get some top soil and fix the fuckin' whole I made, Anyway I ended getting done around 10:30 and didn't even move hardly anything from my place.... Sat night was good, I went to watch the race at Anick's and then went home.

Ok so.. lately I've been feeling sort of like unable to be relax/comfortable also I've been sort of hiding my emotions and not allowing others in as I haven't been feeling very confident, for this I truly am sorry. I feel just fucking horrible and like I'm pushing away ppl that I definitely don't want to be pushing, I'm just finding it hard to give anything at this point in time as I need to tend to myself for the moment.. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night when arriving at Anick's after my long day from hell, I walk in and see 14 familiar faces... There's nothing as comforting as walking into a room with 14 ppl that you really know and consider your closest friends. I mean I would really do anything for everyone in that room and all of them know me really well. So... I walk around notice that there was no seating room left so I just layed on the floor in the middle of the room, I felt like I could sleep there in the middle of them all as if I was protected from anything and everything as they would of taken care of me and fought off anything bad that might approach... my god I'm getting choked up.... sorry... anyway all this to say I love my friends and think that they are the best even by just being there means a lot to me. Thank you!

So here I am feeling all fucked up and shit but I'm sure I'll be fine next week... I think once I'm moved in and able to chill things will be better... I'm looking forward to next week where it's all over and I'm settled in..

Thanks for reading kids...